I gotta get me one of them….

So, I’ve been thinkin’ ; I’ve got get me a penis.  

I figure I can keep it in my purse or my backpack. Maybe tote it around  in with my lap-top,  and when I really want people to pay attention to what I have to say and to take me seriously I can just pull it out and set it down in front of me. If anyone fails to notice I can always hold it up and point it assertively at people while shouting “HEY, LOOK…I’VE GOT THE PENIS NOW  – YOU HAVE TO ASSUME I AM SAYING SOMETHING INTELLIGENT AND IMPORTANT.”

Yeah – I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say it “PATRIARCHY SUCKS” (no pun intended.) 

What brings this remarkable grasp of the obvious to the forefront of my mind you ask? Recently a friend sent me an email detailing a great plan for an organization we both work with and love.  He had gotten all these great ideas from a mutual friend of ours.  ( A friend who happens to have a penis.)  I say they are great ideas, but I should acknowledge that I am not an unbiased source here, ‘cuz the thing is – they are the same ideas I’ve been advocating for almost 2 years now! But… I’ve been advocating them w/out the use of a penis – silly me. What was I thinking? Obviously, without such an important resource I simply could not be heard, or taken seriously.

The thing is this all occurred not long after I was making note of some changes in an organization I used to work for. Changes that I (and my co-worker, also sans penis) had been advocating for most of the time we were there.  Changes that once the one with the penis initiated started to happen.  UG!

I’ll say it again…  I gotta get me one of those!

Okay… okay… I know there is way more to gender then genitalia… but this is a rant here and there is little room for logic, sense, shades of grey, or especially rationality in a rant…. It is what it is and what this is- is my being pissed off and so just let me go w/ it here…

Patriarchy Sucks!

7 responses to “I gotta get me one of them….

  1. I laughed so hard my smoothie came out my nose! Painful – but worth it. You may have a “remarkable grasp of the obvious”, but sometimes the obvious is worth saying out loud!

  2. thanks zoey! glad it made you laugh. -s

  3. Extra points if you can pee your thoughts in snow with said penis….

    I’m telling you. That was the funniest message i’ve EVER received on my cell phone. I’m with Zoey. I laughed so hard once I realized it was YOU and yes, you really did just say you needed to get a penis…

    I saved it.

    love, me

  4. AND…I wonder what your blog rating is now that you’ve included “shades” “pissed” and “penis” on your blog? Hmmm….On that note, i’m off to clean out your spam folder cuz you’re going to need the space. laughing. love you.

  5. Jen – glad I could make you laugh. And thanks for the clean up…. it is always good to talk to you. Now…. i must stop using internet as a procrastintin tool and get to work!

  6. I work in a male dominated law office where everyone assumes I am an secretary w/ a different title. As if I didn’t pass the same bar exam they did. And as if any of us could handle the jobs the secretary handles with ease. I laughed my ass off when I read this post! It created such a great picture in my head. We’re all sitting around the conference table and I whip a penis out of my backback – gesturing wildly with it while all the men in the room listen intently. Still laughin’.

  7. mm – thanks for the comment. and thanks for acknowledging the secretary is doin’ hard work. -sher

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